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Senior sex: Tips for older men

What you can do to maintain a healthy and enjoyable sex life as you grow older.

As you age, sex isn't the same as it was in your 20s — but it can still be enjoyable. Unlike some myths suggest, sex isn't just for the young. Many seniors still enjoy their sexuality into their 80s and beyond.

A healthy sex life is both fulfilling and good for other parts of your life too — such as your physical health and self-esteem.

Senior sex: What changes as men get older?

Changes to your body or lifestyle can make you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable — especially when it comes to sex.

You may notice changes such as:

Low sex drive
Discomfort or pain during sex
Erection changes (erectile dysfunction)
Ejaculation changes (premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation)
Changes to your body, hair or genitals
Less strength or stamina
Lower fertility
Feeling fragile or tired
Feeling sad or stressed
Changes in your partner's ability or desire for sex

You might be worried about these changes. But remember, they don't have to end your enjoyment of sex. Working with your changing body can help you keep a healthy and happy sex life. For instance, you may need to change your sexual routine to include more stimulation to become aroused.

Senior sex and health problems

Sexual well-being is closely tied to the rest of your health. How you're feeling, long-term health conditions, age-related changes or drugs can all affect you sexually.

Some surgeries and many drugs — such as blood pressure drugs, antihistamines, antidepressants and acid-blocking drugs — can affect sexual function.

Also, changes to your body — such as testosterone and sperm changes, nerve damage, bone and muscle loss, and low iron — can affect your sexual health.

And existing health conditions — such as heart disease, diabetes, cancer and prostate problems — can have an impact too.

But don't give up. You and your partner can try new ways to be intimate that work with your needs and abilities.

For example, if you're worried about having sex after a heart attack, talk with your health care provider about your concerns. If arthritis pain is a problem, try different sexual positions. Or try using heat to lessen joint pain before or after sexual activity.

Stay positive and focus on ways of being sexual and intimate that work for you and your partner.

Senior sex and emotional issues

At any age, emotional issues can affect how you feel sexually. Sometimes this is good news. With fewer distractions, more time and privacy, and no worries about pregnancy — many older couples report better sex lives.

But other adults may feel stressed by health problems, money troubles and other lifestyle changes. Depression can lower your desire for sex. If you think you might be depressed, talk to your health care provider or a counselor.

Senior sex tips

Sex may not be the same for you or your partner as it was when you were younger. But sex and intimacy can still be a rewarding part of your life. Here are some tips for keeping a healthy and enjoyable sex life:

Talk with your partner. Even if it's hard to talk about sex, sharing your needs, wants and worries can help you both enjoy sex and intimacy more. It's OK to feel vulnerable. Your partner is likely feeling vulnerable too. Talk with each other or with the help of a therapist.
Visit your health care provider. Your health care provider can help you manage long-term conditions and medications that affect your sex life. If you have trouble keeping an erection, tell your provider. Erection problems may be the only warning sign of a heart problem. If you're concerned about your testosterone, ask your provider for guidance. Tell your provider about any tobacco, alcohol or illicit drug use, as these may affect your sexual health.
See a sex therapist. A therapist may be able to help you and your partner with specific issues. A qualified therapist can help you understand your needs, your worries and refresh your perspective. Ask your health care provider for a referral.

Expand your definition of sex. Intercourse is only one way to have a fulfilling sex life. Touching, kissing and other intimate contact can be rewarding for you and your partner.

As you age, you and your partner may have different sexual abilities and needs. Be open to finding new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy.

Change your routine. Simple changes can improve your sex life. Change the time of day you have sex. Try the morning — when you're refreshed from a good night's sleep and when your testosterone levels are likely higher — rather than at the end of a long day.

Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, take more time for romance. Try a new sexual position or find other ways of connecting romantically and sexually.

Bond in new ways. If being physically intimate is too much right now, find new ways to have fun together. Enjoying new experiences may boost your activity level, your mood and even your libido.
Laugh together. A sense of humor is important to easing the stress that can get in the way of your ability to be intimate.

Don't give up on romance. If you've lost your partner, it can be difficult to imagine starting another relationship. But socializing is well worth the effort for many single seniors. No one outgrows the need for emotional closeness and intimacy.

If you start an intimate relationship with a new partner, use a condom. Many older adults don't know that they are still at risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes and gonorrhea.

One final piece of advice for keeping a healthy sex life: Take care of yourself and stay as healthy as you can.

Eat a healthy diet.
Exercise regularly.
Don't drink too much alcohol.
Don't smoke.
Think positive.
Practice gratitude.
Drink plenty of water.
Get enough sleep.
Make time for loved ones and hobbies.

See your health care provider regularly, especially if you have long-term health conditions or take prescription drugs. Other conditions and drugs can affect your sexual health, but your provider can help.

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Waite LJ, et al. Sexuality in older couples: Individual and dyadic characteristics. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 2017; doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0651-9.
Yafi FA, et al. Erectile dysfunction. Nature Reviews Disease Primers 2016; doi:10.1038/nrdp.2016.3.
Partin AW, et al., eds. Campbell-Walsh-Wein Urology. 12th ed. Elsevier; 2021. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed March 15, 2022.
Age and fertility: A guide for patients. ReproductiveFacts.org. https://www.reproductivefacts.org/news-and-publications/patient-fact-sheets-and-booklets/documents/fact-sheets-and-info-booklets/age-and-fertility/?_ga=2.23872760.332160619.1648825435-2025818841.1647597055. Accessed March 16, 2022.
Mulhall JP, et al. Evaluation and management of testosterone deficiency: AUA guideline. The Journal of Urology. 2018; doi:10.1016/j.juro.2018.03.115.
Bhasin S, et al., eds. Reproductive disorders associated with aging. In: Essentials of Men's Health. McGraw Hill; 2021. https://accessmedicine.mhmedical.com. Accessed March 18, 2022.
Sexuality and intimacy in older adults. National Institute on Aging. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/publication/sexuality-later-life. Accessed April 11, 2022.
White BA, et al. Life cycle of the male and Female reproductive systems. In: Endocrine and Reproductive Physiology. 5th ed. Elsevier; 2019. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed March 17, 2022.
Older adults and mental health. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/older-adults-and-mental-health. Accessed March 21, 2022.
Caring for your mental health. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health. Accessed March 21, 2022.
Your healthiest self: Wellness toolkits. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nih.gov/health-information/your-healthiest-self-wellness-toolkits. Accessed March 21, 2022.
Emotional wellness toolkit. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nih.gov/health-information/emotional-wellness-toolkit. Accessed March 21, 2022.
Physical wellness toolkit. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nih.gov/health-information/physical-wellness-toolkit. Accessed March 21, 2022.

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Like Porn With a Plot? Here Are 32 Steamy NC-17 Movies

"Swimming Pool"

"Swimming Pool" is an erotic thriller about a crime novelist who goes to a house in Southern France to write her next novel, where tragedy, mystery, and lots and lots of sex occur.

Watch "Swimming Pool" (R-rated version) on Amazon Prime .

"Eyes Wide Shut"

The dark plot of Stanley Kubrick's erotic thriller follows a wealthy doctor who discovers that his wife had an affair. He later finds himself in the midst of a masked orgy organized by a secret society - and believe us, anything goes here. While an unrated version of the movie is now available, the particularly graphic orgy scenes were originally digitally altered by Warner Bros. so that the film would be rated R rather than NC-17.

Watch "Eyes Wide Shut" on Hulu or YouTube .

"The Dreamers"

When an American student comes to Paris to study abroad, he befriends a sexually liberated brother and sister who share his love of film. "The Dreamers" is full of sex, nudity, and drama - all against the backdrop of the 1968 Paris student riots.

Watch "The Dreamers" (R-rated version) on Amazon Prime .

"Tokyo Decadence"

"Tokyo Decadence" is an erotic film that explores the life of an escort who plays out sexual fantasies for her clients. A large portion of the film graphically depicts these (often BDSM) fantasies, but the movie also follows her unrequited love story and lonely existence.

Watch "Tokyo Decadence" (unrated version) on Amazon Prime .

"Tropic of Cancer"

"Tropic of Cancer" holds an NC-17 rating for its (often funny) portrayal of various sexual fantasies and stories.

Watch "Tropic of Cancer" on Amazon Prime .

"Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!"

In "Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!" a young psychiatric patient kidnaps a female actress in order to make her fall in love with him, leading to some pretty problematic Stockholm syndrome, and an unexpected twist. The film was originally classified as porn and rated X, but Miramax filed a lawsuit against the MPAA. Though they lost, eventually the film's rating was lowered to NC-17.

Watch "Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!" on HBO Max or Amazon Prime .

"Beyond the Valley of the Dolls"

When three impressionable young women move to Los Angeles and quickly fall prey to all the vices it has to offer them, things spiral out of control. "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" is a film about their decline into excessive drug use and various affairs. The film originally earned an X rating for full-frontal nudity, graphic sex, and lesbian relations. It has since been rerated NC-17.

Watch "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" on YouTube or Apple TV .

For a movie completely about sex, "Shame " isn't exactly sexy. The dark drama follows the life of sex addict as he tries to get a handle on his problems.

Watch "Shame" on Amazon Prime or Apple TV .

"Elles" takes place during just one day - a day in which a French journalist delves into the world of female student prostitution. What she finds is something completely unexpected, which leads her to reevaluate her own life and sexuality. The movie is rated NC-17 for explicit sexual content.

Watch "Elles" on Amazon Prime .

"Blue Valentine"

Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams stunned in the critically acclaimed drama "Blue Valentine" about the dissolution of a couple's marriage. The film originally received an NC-17 rating because of the scene where Gosling's character performs oral sex on Williams's character, but Gosling called out the MPAA for sexism and misogyny, saying that if the roles were switched, and the female was performing oral sex on the male, the film would have received an R-rating. The rating was appealed and changed to R.

Watch "Blue Valentine" on Amazon Prime or fuboTV .

"Blue Is the Warmest Color"

This coming-of-age movie tells the story of a young woman exploring and embracing her sexuality as she falls in love with an older woman. The film caused controversy due to explicit sex scenes between the two women, and had a limited release with an NC-17 rating in the US.

Watch "Blue Is the Warmest Color" on Roku or Amazon Prime .

"Henry & June"

One of three NC-17 films ever to be nominated for an Oscar, "Henry & June" tells the sexy and dramatic story of writer Arthur Miller, his wife, and author Anaïs Nin's love triangle and bohemian lifestyle in Paris.

"Henry & June" is not readily available online.

:Young Adam:

Tilda Swinton and Ewan McGregor star in "Young Adam," a dark, moody film about a drifter who knows more about the death of a woman than he lets on. Due to the explicit content, the film received an NC-17 - one Sony Pictures Classics were not happy about - but an R-rated version is now available.

Watch "Young Adam" on Amazon Prime .

This psychological drama is definitely not your average erotic thriller - David Cronenberg's "Crash" is about a group of people who take sexual pleasure from, you guessed it . . . car crashes.

Watch "Crash" (R-rated version) on Hulu , Tubi , or Amazon Prime .

"Lust, Caution"

"Lust, Caution" is an erotic thriller that takes places in 1940s Shanghai, which was occupied by Japan at the time. Directed by "Brokeback Mountain " director Ang Lee, the action-packed espionage drama follows a woman assigned to lure a special agent into a trap in order to murder him. The movie is rated NC-17 for graphic sex and full-frontal nudity, among other things.

Watch "Lust, Caution" (R-rated version) on Amazon Prime or Apple TV .

"Arabian Nights"

An adaption of "The Book of One Thousand and One Night," "Arabian Nights" is an Italian film about a man who falls in love with his slave and his very erotic adventures as he searches for her after she is abducted.

Watch "Arabian Nights" on Tubi or Amazon Prime .

"Showgirls"

Not too much can be said for "Showgirls" - it was a box office failure and a flop critically - but there is a lot of sex and nudity. The cult classic has a comically over-the-top plot, but is still one of the most notorious NC-17 films out there.

Watch "Showgirls" on Pluto TV or Tubi .

"The Canterbury Tales"

Italian director Pier Paolo Pasolini retells erotic stories from Chaucer's famous narrative poem in 1971's "The Canterbury Tales," a film that received an NC-17 rating due to nudity, sexual content, and violence.

Watch "The Canterbury Tales" on Amazon Prime .

"Delta of Venus"

An ex-patriate in pre-World World II Paris who writes erotic stories about her sexual fantasies meets another ex-pat and finds someone to explore her fantasies with. "Delta of Venus" was rated NC-17 (though an R-rated version is also available) because of explicit sex scenes.

Watch "Delta of Venus" (R-rated version) on Apple TV or Amazon Prime .

"Bad Education"

Two men who grew up together at a religious Catholic school reunite as adults in "Bad Education," a Spanish drama starring Gael García Bernal . Due to themes of sexual abuse within the Catholic church, explicit sex, and drug use, the film was given a rating of NC-17 by the MPAA.

Watch "Bad Education" on Amazon Prime .

"Basic Instinct"

"Basic Instinct" has one of the most famous scenes in film history. You know, the one where a panty-less Sharon Stone slowly uncrosses her legs while wearing a dress. The neo-noir murder mystery is full of intrigue, drama, and yes, a lot of sex. It was initially given an NC-17 rating but, after a few selective edits, was given an R-rating. The uncut format is still available.

Watch "Basic Instinct" on YouTube or Amazon Prime .

"The Brown Bunny"

"The Brown Bunny" gained a lot of attention due to an unsimulated sex scene between Vincent Gallo and Chloë Sevigny . The movie follows a motorcycle racer as he drives across country and is plagued by the memories of his former lover.

"The Brown Bunny" is not readily available online.

"The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover"

In this romantic comedy, the wife of a crime boss begins a secret romance with a patron of her husband's restaurant.

Watch "The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover" on Sling .

"Sex and Lucia"

This Spanish erotic drama has a layered plot of intertwining stories dealing with love, tragedy, sex, and death. The sexy (and dark) film can be viewed as R or NC-17.

Watch "Sex and Lucia" on Tubi or Amazon Prime .

Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone (the brains behind "Southpark"), "Orgazmo" is an over-the-top sex comedy about a superhero pornographic movie. Pretty self-explanatory how/why this one is NC-17.

Watch "Orgazmo" on YouTube or Amazon Prime .

"Where the Truth Lies"

An erotic thriller about a journalist seeking to find answers about the disappearance of a woman in connection with a comedy duo, "Where the Truth Lies" was rated NC-17 in the US due to an intimate threesome scene.

Watch "Where the Truth Lies" on Roku

or Amazon Prime .

"The Doom Generation"

"The Doom Generation" is all doom, gloom, thrill, and, of course, sex. The movie involves a sexual relationship between three people who go on a crime spiral that inevitably leads to their downfall.

Watch "The Doom Generation" on Amazon Prime .

"Wild at Heart"

One of three NC-17 movies to ever be nominated for an Oscar, David Lynch's "Wild at Heart" revolves around a woman and her lover on the run from her mom, who employees a gangster to track them down. The film was originally rated X due to graphic violence in addition to sex scenes, but was edited down to an R-rating in North America.

Watch "Wild at Heart" on Vudu .

This erotic thriller, released in 2000, follows a young lawyer who hopes to spice up his marriage by inviting another woman over for a threesome. However, breaking it off with the other woman proves more difficult than anticipated. Originally rated NC-17, some sexually explicit scenes were cut from "Trois" in order to achieve its R-rating. An uncut version was reportedly released but is not readily available online.

Watch "Trois" (R-rated version) on Amazon Prime .

"Law of Desire"

Antonio Banderas stars in this 1987 comedy-thriller about a gay filmmaker, his trans actress sister, and a dangerously obsessive fan. "Law of Desire," originally released in Spain as "La ley del deseo," was rated NC-17 for "a scene of explicit sexual content."

Watch "Law of Desire" on Amazon Prime or Apple TV .

"Wide Sargasso Sea"

Based on the Jean Rhys novel of the same name, "Wide Sargasso Sea" is a good choice for all the sexy-literature lovers out there. The film, like the book, is set in the 1840s, with a woman marrying a man to avoid losing her property. What first appears to be a happy marriage begins to disintegrate under the weight of secrets and mutual distrust. There are two versions of this film, and the 1993 adaptation, starring Karina Lombard, is rated NC-17 (although only the R-rated version is available online).

Watch "Wide Sargasso Sea" (R-rated cut) on Amazon Prime .

If you love a movie filled with raunchy sex scenes , this article is for you. Porn with a plot is absolutely a thing, and it's basically an NC-17 movie. The biggest difference between it and a movie that receives an R rating is that no one under age 17 can watch NC-17 films in theaters. Those under 17 can get into R-rated films (think " 50 Shades of Grey ") if they're accompanied by a parent or guardian. As for the difference between an NC-17 rating and a X rating? They pretty much started as the same thing - but because X ratings were coopted by the porn industry in the early 1970s, the term "NC-17" was adopted in 1990 to replace it.

To say these movies definitely turn up the heat would be an understatement. If you like your steamy scenes against the backdrop of a dramatic, interesting, or thrilling story, then these sexy movies are exactly what you need. We're talking forbidden love, hot flashbacks to former lovers, will-they-won't-they relationships, and more.

Some of the NC-17 movies included in this list feature fetishes , taboo kinks , BDSM , and unsimulated sex - aka actual sex, not the pretend version viewers usually see on screen. There are age differences, affairs, and drama taken straight from the pages of history. The great Helen Mirren even called one film "an irresistible mix of art and genitals" - and if that's not a tantalizing description, we don't know what is. From foreign films to dark love stories to straight-up comedies, these movies are sure to fulfill your NC-17 fantasies - and maybe spark some new ones, too. Keep reading to see the steamiest, sexiest, and downright dirtiest NC-17 movies available now.

- Additional reporting by Lauren Harano

Related: Want Some Adults-Only Streaming? These Sexy Netflix Shows Have All That and More